This past week has been a rough one for me emotionally. As I
was talking with a friend yesterday she told me that it is ok for everyone to
have bad days. I’ve been trying so long to keep my chin up and pretend that I
am always happy and content with life, when in reality, I’m sad many days. That’s
not to say that I’m never happy, I’m happy most of the time, but why do I try
to hide when I’m sad or having a hard day? This is something that I’ve been
putting a lot of thought into since last night.
I’ve realized that it really is ok to have bad days. It’s
good for others to see that you’re human. There is something freeing about
admitting you are having a hard time emotionally, physically, spiritually or
whatever and talk it through with someone you can trust. As I’ve opened up to
others, they open up with me and we commiserate together. There is something
comforting in having someone mourn with you and just listen.
It is ok to wish, want and hope for things that seem like a
distant dream. We all have to grieve for the ideas of things we wanted that
haven’t happened. For me it’s the idea of having 2 or more kids by now in our
almost 6 years of marriage; the idea of getting my master’s degree in Music
Therapy and working in my dream job. It’s an idea of having my life work out
the way that I had planned it to, hoped it to, but in reality things don’t
always go the way we plan. I’m actually very thankful for that.
I’m a different person than I was 5 years ago. I’m different
because of the many experiences I’ve been through. I’m different because of the
people I’ve met and shared my story with. They have touched my heart and helped
me more than they will ever realize. I’m different because of having to rely
more on my Savior and strengthening my faith that things will work out in time.
I’m different because I’ve learned to be thankful for the many blessings that I
have in my life, to truly be thankful. I’ve
been so richly blessed. I can’t lose sight of all the many blessings I have because
of the one thing I want more than anything else, isn’t happening. The trials I’ve
faced, that Anthony and I have faced together, have changed me for the better,
but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have bad days or every now and then. I am
human after all. We are all human.
We all have wanted things that we haven’t been given. We’ve
all had rough trials that don’t seem fair. Trials that we feel we may never get
through. Most of the time, I don’t think we completely get over every trial. We
can get through our trials, but a part of us changes through each. We learn
more of who we are as we go through challenges. I can see how important it has
been to confide in others and share my story and have them share theirs with me.
I’m thankful for my friend who recognized that I needed
someone to talk to yesterday; who let me know that it really is ok to have a
bad day. I look forward to acknowledging my feelings more and being ok with
being sad when I’m sad and being happy when I’m happy and living in the now
rather in the “what if”.
I love your friend's words! It's nice to have your feelings validated by someone else. That's what I've learned over the past few months. Most of the time when someone is struggling they don't want advice from a friend, they want their friend to say, "hey, that really stinks".
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